Why My Heart Doesn’t Break for You

People ask me how I cope with my heart being broken. Here’s the thing though, my heart doesn’t break. It’s learned better than to think itself so weak. It’s learned the lessons people have tried to teach it. Albeit, sometimes the student, sometimes the teacher.

Why lament over someone not living up to your ideal of him? He/she simply is not that person. No one is holding you to him. You aren’t physically bound to him. So, GO.

I get it.
It’s hard. But, it’s only hard to surrender the fantasy. It’s hard to say, “I was wrong about what I saw in you. That’s on me.” Or, “You convey a man you aren’t close to being. That’s on you.” Regardless, he ain’t it.

So, no lying in bed at night asking why you weren’t enough, why are you so unlovable. Doing that makes you less lovable. Gross. Face the facts that it’s really not you, it’s them and LET THEM GOOOOOO. (That’s go, not goo). 🤓

Or, sometimes, I stick around and try for a bit. Reach out, just because I manifested something so great, I want to make extra sure it was a mirage before I continue on my quest for true paradise in this desert of lovelessness.
And I’m not an Indian princess, I’m a camel with water stored inside me to make it through the dry spells (and an extra hump, should I need it). Kidding there, sort of.

So on this journey of life, I don’t get heartbreak…I get annoyed. Annoyed that I wasted one precious second on a lesson I shouldn’t have to learn again and again. I do find a reason to be thankful, though. I am thankful for those moments I believed in a person for me and the ensuing excitement at the rapport and the passion we were building together. But, when it inevitably loses shape and my sand castle reveals itself as such, I keep the faith. My paradise is within me, manifesting in another for moments that inspire my creator womb. So, I walk the sands of time as they slip from the cracks in the hourglass with a heart unyielding, unbroken and unbelievable. As should you.


Mama Built the Home

FeaturedA toddler girl and small boy standing at a marine's grave

Mama worked two jobs

Most of our lives

One was serving others

One was raising us right

Church on Sunday morning

And Saturday fun

And summers after school’s out

We would work in the sun

We saw daddy as the strong one

He was big and he was tough

He worked hard all day

And came home to us

His breath often smelled of whiskey

Or one or ten beers

But he could throw us over his shoulder

Without shifting gears

He sat in his chair

I would take off his boots, climb in his lap

Mom would serve him dinner

And then he’d take a nap

But as I get older

I look back and I see

It was mama with the strength

Like a solid oak tree

Mama may have seemed soft

When she would stroke our face

But there was love in that hand

And unwavering faith

Mama was the strong one

Who would have known?

Daddy bought the house

But Mama built the home

And on my way up

I got lost here and there

But I had a northern star

Cause Mama was always there

(Yeah Mama wasn’t going anywhere)

Mama’s strength was overshadowed

By a man twice her size

She calmly weathered our storms

And we never realized

Mama was the strong one

Who would have known?

Daddy bought the house

But Mama built the home

Now daddy’s in the ground

Underneath a solid oak tree

That was a sapling when we lost him

I was almost twenty

Two decades have passed

And mamas getting gray

I still miss my daddy

But I know my way

In life you find your rock

And you find your wings

Sometimes your sail and your anchor

Can be the same things

So with a strong foundation

And secure in my home

I set out raising my kids

And I’m not doing it alone

Cause Mama was the strong one

In time it has shown

Daddy may have bought the house

But Mama built the home